Deep breath. Just stand up and do what you came for. Be brave! You can do this!
“Hi. I’m Sasha and I’m an internet shopping addict”
ALL TOGETHER NOW:
It all happened so quickly…I thought I was spending responsibly…I…I never wanted it to end this way-
Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You were stupid and you know it.
Yeah. I was stupid. It was all so easy though…my wildest dreams at a click of a mouse. And you don’t feel the money leaving! You don’t see it as it runs and runs, sneakily, one by one, with every tiny purchase until you’re left with NOTHING. That’s when you fall hard…into the pit of darkness and despair that is overspending. WHY SUPERDRUG WHY MUST YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE THINGS I WANT??
YA EVIL MEAN POO
That’s enough, Sasha. Just calmmm down.
EVIL MEAN POO HEAD FACE
EVIL MEAN POO HEAD FACE WHO SUCKS
Really, now. You’re a grown woman.
EVIL MEAN POO HEAD FACE WHO SUCKS AND…AND…
Just come with me, Sasha. We’re going to take you somewhere nice, where you can relax and take a break from internet shopping.
*Arrives at the ‘Reading is a Great Alternative’ institute for internet addicts, shopping ward*
What. Where are all the computers. Why am I surrounded by books. WHAT IS THIS HELL???
This is my last final message before I am purged of modern life forever…SOMEONE PLEASE RESCUE ME I NEED YOUTUBE TO SURVIVE
What have I become???
L o v e Y o u
Click here to reveal the product of my whirlwind of internet madness…